Questioning the good and the bad - COLD READINGS

I have been doing some study lately of topics that can influence people to make their minds up about what they think they may be seeing, hearing and feeling.
Its a bit of parapsychology.
But its bought up questions about what sways people when having a psychic reading or seeing a medium.
And always when I feel I am swaying to the side of 'believing' and not questioning enough I try and take myself out of the loop of ignorance as I would call it.
As I grown and experience more - I feel there is a need to ground in more questioning of everything.


I went to see a psychic recently - I don't do this often and I wont go into who or where.
That's not the point of this.
When a psychic or medium works in front of a crowd they have risen to a point where they believe in what they are seeing and saying.
They must - as they have to be strong enough to deliver their message confidently.
Most of the people that come to see a psychic or medium are there with great expectations.
They want the psychic or medium to pick them - they want to believe everything that the psychic or medium says and they really want often an answer or maybe closure.
This particular person I saw struck with but their style of delivery.
They may be a beautiful and brilliant person I have no right to judge them.
They may have also helped hundred of people with their readings.
But I was a critical observer and I was watching the people who were being chosen for readings.
I saw they trying to make statements fit.
I saw them racking their brains for connections.
I saw their their desires sometimes be so overarching that they were willing to accept anything even though it was in no way  relating.



The question that arose for me at this particular event was - was the medium really talking to the dead?
Or was the crowd so enraptured in the medium themselves that they would have agreed with everything no mater what the medium said?
Does fame play a part in the mediums or psychics abilities?
So if a medium or psychic is famous - are they better than one that isnt?

Doing psychic work myself I know that for me, its not easy. It doesn't always happen the way I want it to.
I don't say I have a 'spirit team' or work with angels or a being from a different dimension (this has made me  a second rate psychic by the way - or so I have been told).
I don't go into trance, speak in a different voice or take on a different persona.
( again that seems to make me second rate).
But how much of a reading is theatre?
How much is reality?
How much is added fluff so that a client feels that they are getting their money's worth?
This leads me to say that apparently anything under an hour reading is "second rate".
Is a more expensive reading a better reading?
I have heard some readers are asking $400 for 20 minutes!
(Boy - I'd like to ask those rates)!!

 But lets just look at one aspect of what might be occurring during a reading - and as I have said MIGHT BE!!!
Put your pitch forks back in the garage - don't drive them into my back yet - remember I work in this field to so I am being as critical of myself as others here.
It's just something to be mindful of and a subject that we all need to keep in mind when we look for spiritual assistance.

How much of what we experience through psychics and mediums are just cold readings?
Ray Hyman from his "Guide to Cold Reading" states that there are a number of things to remember:



1. Remember that the key ingredient of a successful character reading is confidence.
So if your psychic appears controlled and confident they are more likely to impress you.
2. Make creative use of the latest statistical abstracts, polls and surveys.
Some psychics or mediums may make assumptions about you depending on your ethnic background or your job.

3. Set the stage for your reading.
Some psychic and mediums may down grade their abilities while others may says that they are always 100% right.

4. Gain the subject’s cooperation in advance.
Tell the client that it is all dependent on how open they are and receptive so if spirit does not communicate is must be the client's fault.

5. Use a gimmick, such as Tarot cards, crystal ball, palm reading etc.
A gimmick? Far out  - I trained for years ( and still do to read tarot - this is a bit harsh) but he says that psychics and mediums use gimmicks like tarot cards, crystals, oracle cards and palmistry for example.

6. Have a list of stock phrases at the tip of your tongue.
If it works for one person it may work for another - so some psychics and mediums have generalised statements that they use to fill in the gaps and time.

7. Keep your eyes open!
Psychics and mediums are great observers - are they just sussing you out and making statements based on what you look like or how you dress?

8. Use the technique of fishing.
Does the psychic ask questions?
I know I ask questions - like, "what can I help you with?"...
And some smart arses will say "Well, you are the psychic you should know why I am here", which pisses me off no end.

9. Learn to be a good listener.
Some psychics and mediums may get a client off on an issue and allow them to talk as much as possible.

10. Dramatise your reading.
Some psychics and mediums talk too much - and take one statement and then say it in 10 different ways.

11. Always give the impression that you know more than you are saying.
Hmm...some psychics and mediums will never say that they may be wrong. They are always right! I remember hearing one psychic tell a client that they had a sister and even after the client told them that they didnt have a sister the psychic told them that this sister was born and died before the client was born. When the client said that their mother never mentioned the death of a sibling, the psychic went on to say that the mother had had a death in the womb and therefore may not even have known she was pregnant.
Now that's stretching it!

12. Don’t be afraid to flatter your subject at every opportunity.
Clients that come to psychics and mediums are usually quite vulnerable - stroking their ego will often get the client to become more open and make the client think that they are 'special'. I'd like a $1 for every client that I have seen who told me that, "a psychic once told me that I can do readings - I am very psychic".
13. Remember the Golden Rule – always tell the subject what he/she wants to hear!
I remember I once had a client who didn't like what I had to tell her so she reached over and chose another card (without asking me first) and said, 'tell me what that one says" and then she didn't like that one so she picked another card saying, 'tell me what that one says" cause I didn't like the last one. This person WANTED me to tell them what she wanted to hear and wouldn't be satisfied until she heard it.
I told her to leave.
So it can be far easier to just tell the client what they want to hear.



Does this apply to all psychics and mediums?
Blood hell no!
Does it apply to some?
Maybe?
I dont know - that would have to be something that you think about reflecting back on your experiences with psychics and mediums.

I do understand why some people are wary of psychics and mediums but it is also wrong to tar and feather everyone becasue of a few bad apples.

People's idea of what a reading is has changed - they demand more and want dates, facts, name etc.
Its especially difficult for mediums who are supposed to be able to call up your loved ones at a minute's notice!

Talk about pressure.

So there are expectations that can be unreal and there are pressures that can be too demanding.

Honesty and respect and understanding the process goes a long way on the side of the client and being truthful and not pandering to clients needs in a arrogant "I cannot be wrong" way goes far for psychics and mediums who are more often than not just doing their best and coming from a space where they do sincerely want to help.

Lets all calm the hell down and get back to looking at these meetings between psychics, mediums and clients as meetings that are meant to help and assist not answer all the questions of the Universe.

Remember that quantum physics tells us that just by observing something we can change it - therefore by looking at our future we are actually changing the course of it. Nothing is ever set.
Everything is malleable.

So why go to a psychic?
For new information from an observer that has no knowledge of your life or issues. they have no agenda other than helping you move forward (hopefully) it is not in their interest to see you choose one thing over another.
To get choices and look at outcomes from those choices.
But - to allow you to make your own decisions.

Why go to a medium?
To gain relief, closure.
To see a different perspective - to hear that all is OK and that you did your best for your loved one.
To hear that they are still around and that you will not be forgotten.
To move forward with the grieving process.
I have my own opinions on some of the things I have seen and heard but one thing is for sure  I have seen a great deal of emotional release from sorrow after many people have been to see a medium so therefore in many cases it does have therapeutic value in my mind.

Do it - just ALWAYS keep an open mind allow your gut to believe if what you hear feels right for you.





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